My hatred for TopShop

So. For those not in the know, TopShop is a UK chain of clothes shops, selling both Women's and Men's clothes. Years ago I used to shop here regularly, as their sales were pretty good. Now that I'm older and know how to feed myself (more on that later), I tend not to go in here, as I'm approaching the time when I'm fine wearing jeans that cost less than a sandwich in Tesco.

This christmas, my mum decided to buy me a jumper from TopShop. The colour were not exactly to my tastes, so she gave me the receipts so I could take it back...

Trip 1, January 12th 2011:
I saunter in with my wife, thinking I could easily find some jeans that I like. I check out the rails, but they only seem to have jeans that I could barely squeeze a toe into, let alone my whole leg. I ask the assistant where the bootcut jeans are, or anything resembling something a fully grown human could wear.

"Oh no (cue disgusted look) we don't sell bootcut anymore."

Brilliant. Ok, I'll just get my money back, as I have no immediate plans to become a chav with an eating disorder.

Trip 2, January 20th 2011:
I go up to the counter, and with my receipt in hand, ask for my money back. No, says yet another delightfully helpful assistant, it's outside the 30 days since you purchased it. This is correct, however my receipt says "Return by 31st January for an exchange". I point this out. She then says:

"If you want a refund it has to be with 30 days, but you can have an exchange before the 31st January"

Great, so have fun confusing people with two different dates with two different outcomes. That's blindingly clear. Fine, I'll have gift vouchers then please (someone else can suffer this place).

"No, we only do exchanges."

I don't really blame them. Once they've got your money, why allow them to pass the torture onto someone else without them paying for the priviledge. So i'm stuck with this jumper unless I can find something else by the 31st...

Trip 3: January 31st 2011:
I put off the agony as long as I could, but eventually dragged myself in and selected a tshirt and seemingly the only pair of jeans I stood a chance of getting into. The plan was to give them to my mum, who had kindly offered to choose something herself, but needed longer to decide. I trudge up to the counter, and ask for an exchange.

"Sorry, it's Feb 1st, you've missed the deadline."

Cunning folk. I never expected them to pull the old time travel play on me. No, I sighed wearily, it isn't.

"Yes it is."

No, go get your manager please. Manager duely appears.

"What's the problem sir? It's Feb 1st, your receipt says exchange must be done by Jan 31st".

It is Jan 31st. Please stop being stupid and check the actual date as it stands today in the real world which is CLEARLY NOT IN HERE.

"Oh. Yes. Sorry. Here's your exchange."

Off I leave, happy in the knowledge that the people who work in here probably live here too and will never inhabit space that I might encounter again.