what if liam neeson only liked thin bacon?

i often have very random dreams just before i wake up. and now i have somewhere to write them down...

last night i was having a picnic in a field in the country, when someone shouted "oh look there's a tornado". i ran towards it and hid under a 4x4, but then the twister was right on top of me, and had dinosaur feet. it stomped around a bit, but then i was back at my parents house.
i had to go to work, but my wife had turned korean. she also had a japanese twin. i asked her why her japanese twin looked upset, and she told me it was because she (my wife) was korean. makes sense really.
i drove off but the sad looking japanese twin called me back and said liam neeson was coming. i got out and there he was, except he was at the top of the road. we went up to meet him, and my korean wife introduced me as he was her uncle. i tried to point out my parents house but we couldn't see it from there and he said he didn't believe they really lived there. we made bacon sandwiches and liam neeson said he'd only have one if i cut the bacon into thin little strips. i woke up cursing the man who likes thin bacon..

A Chat with Dahman

Dahman plays in a heavy metal band. I don't like heavy metal. But Dahman keeps inviting me to the gigs...

marc says (14:03):
*loud angry noise?
Dahman says (14:03):
*very much so im afraid
marc says (14:05):
*Dear Dahman,
Due to the fact that the music you will be providing for your listening pleasure is in fact not at all very pleasureable, I regret to inform you that no part of me will be present at your gig on Saturday. This means that even when people say "Sorry, but I'll be there in spirit" does not apply to me.
I thank you for your keen interest in entertaining me, but please try harder.
Yours with regret,
Marc Burrage, 27
Dahman says (14:11):
*thumbs up
marc says (14:11):
*these letters will be collectable one day
Dahman says (14:11):
*haha
marc says (14:12):
*someone will make them into a film called "Letters to Dahman" with Sandra Bullock playing you, and Martin Sheen playing me
Dahman says (14:12):
*perfect
*P.S I love you
marc says (14:12):
*P.P.S I love you more
Dahman says (14:13):
*with tim curry playin you and johnny depp playing me
marc says (14:14):
*then they'd remake both with meryl streep playing you, and frank bruno playing me, but people would call it "dirty" and "a shame"